House of Moratorium

I'm sorry my heart aches for reasons undefined, And that my thoughts strangle each other within my mind, They can't get out -- can't taste the air,  You're reaching in to let them breathe, But I know they don't play fair. Please, I'm sorry, I don't know if I can make you understand, It's so very loud in here -- but don't draw back your hand. I'm swimming in static...but everything echoes, Every accusation, every dagger, Every "Do what you can, fool, but it'll never matter." I'm not insane, Not even close, But the voices are so loud sometimes I've learned to call them by name. Remorse, she tips my head back and forces me to look in her eyes. Guilt, he's seductive...dark and tall and full of well-reasoned lies. I'm reaching up towards the light, but Bitterness is fast, he grabs my hand every time. Sabotage is beautiful, but in one perfect fist she holds a blade, whispering in my ear, "Take it, you...

This one is for her. This one is for the girl in the spring, staring numbly out the window as the world came back to life, wondering how many left turns it takes to make something right. This one is for every hopeful thought she shot down, and for every conviction that she beat into submission. It's for every blackout curtain she closed, desperate to keep out the light. For the latest of nights, when dawn came too soon, And it felt like bleeding out just to leave her room. She's not the one I'm proud of, she's not the one who made it easy. The long drives, the false hope, the teasing, Pouring lies like fountain soda, Spirit parched for anything of worth. Forgiving of nothing, And deserving no forgiveness, There is no crime if there's no witness.

This is my confession: You're the hardest one to write about. Every time I've dared to try, I curl back in doubt.  How do I explain that you live your life on a beat, When you make me forget how to count? I wish I could tell you I've finally gotten it all down.  I should be penning songs, but here I am with a love letter.. But they're one and the same with you, so I suppose it doesn't matter. You see, my darling, I call myself a writer, but the right words never come without a fight. I can list all the facts until I'm out of breath-- but simply calling your eyes "hazel" could never capture their depth. No, you're much more than that, you're mischief, and hidden fire, You are gentle calloused hands, And a glittering smile. With that low breathy laugh, I just want to be wherever you are. You are quiet talks in the car,  And  my reason to grin as you belt notes at the top of your lungs, Or the smell of the air before it rains and we ...

In one moment I tossed the coin, the next I was asleep, Time never works right when I'm dreaming, even when I'm staring at a clock and believing what I'm seeing. One minute I was drenched in tears on my bedroom floor, I rip them away and suddenly I'm shivering-- it's one in the morning and far too cold, But I don't know if that's why I cannot feel.. help me escape the numbness, remind me what is real. I need heat back in my core. Blink. My body is fire, I will burn that man alive, I want to consume everything he is and everything he can give. Heavy breaths, hard floors, I've never felt this before.. but the room is toosmallandhisteethareonmyneckand-- Blink. I'm crying again, but this time it's different. The world is too heavy, the coin is in the air, everything is changing and I wish I didn't care. My conscience will not give me one second of peace, the silence screams because everyone else is asleep. Little did I know I was to...

there was a year when the earth went to war with itself, the ground opened wide to swallow the pines and creatures of chaos leapt out of the sand. all that they touched was corrupt, bats crawled on their bellies and birds began to fear the sky.  the earth went to war with itself, and nothing was sacred; the Grand Canyon bled from its callouses and lumber cut down men. soil seeped poison that spread like cancer, Redwoods shriveled, fading along with the proud belief in their own immunity.  land swallowed land, forgetting it's purpose; devouring itself to remember. the year the earth went to war with itself, two sides did not do battle for the whole, But the whole lost to two sides.

21 Things I Learned In 2017 1.             If you’re inclined toward having an open mind, don’t let anyone narrow it. 2.             There’s a little voice in your head that will say “I don’t like this”; for Heaven’s sake, listen to it. 3.             You can say no, whenever you want. 4.             Physical attraction counts. Don’t try to act noble and say it doesn’t. 5.             And on that note, it’s not a toy, so don’t play with it.   6.             Honesty is the best policy, but Humility is runner-up. 7.             Empathy can hurt, but it’s worth it. 8.  ...

It seems I'm always stroking the ones with fangs, but I suppose this one reminded me of something feral. Eyes like a wildcat in a trap; daring people to come closer, yet terrified that they would. Nothing to lose but his life, and that makes any creature dangerous. He was everywhere at once, and I got the sense he'd been pacing the bars for far too long, looking for a way out that didn't exist. Well, I've stroked jagged edges before and walked away without ever breaking the skin, how would this be any different? But my pride had never met a match like his anger. Those wildcat eyes were his wall to the world, not a challenge, but a warning: don't take one step closer. Pride can never take a hint, however, and I stuck my hand through the bars. How do you lure a creature out of a cage? Show them something they want. Show the touch-starved your open arms, Show the beaten gentleness, Show the vicious that you cannot be hurt, And show the broken...your own bro...