And These Are The Hands On My Throat

I'm sorry my heart aches for reasons undefined,
And that my thoughts strangle each other within my mind,
They can't get out -- can't taste the air, 
You're reaching in to let them breathe,
But I know they don't play fair.

Please, I'm sorry,
I don't know if I can make you understand,
It's so very loud in here -- but don't draw back your hand.
I'm swimming in static...but everything echoes,
Every accusation, every dagger,
Every "Do what you can, fool, but it'll never matter."
I'm not insane,
Not even close,
But the voices are so loud sometimes I've learned to call them by name.

Remorse, she tips my head back and forces me to look in her eyes.
Guilt, he's seductive...dark and tall and full of well-reasoned lies.
I'm reaching up towards the light, but Bitterness is fast, he grabs my hand every time.
Sabotage is beautiful, but in one perfect fist she holds a blade, whispering in my ear, "Take it, you know it will make you less afraid."

They are malice, I know, in every single way.
I promise I hear you, there's just nothing I can say.
Your voice is cutting through the dark,
but my throat is wrapped in chains.
Please take my apology,
Because I just cannot explain.

I'm sorry my heart aches for reasons undefined,
Please pull me back if I've crossed any lines.
See, you would think by now I've done my time,
Surely it's just a phase of watching the silent seconds tick by,
But I always find myself here again...
looking to Heaven and wondering why.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Breathless

I can only hope that what they'll come to eventually see Is me becoming more of me, And less of a shell, quiet and empty, An echo chamber of my own little hell. Please understand, I wish everyone well, But the moments I want to scream come so unexpected, It's an executed ambush that steals my lungs first so I cannot tell. So as I'm begging for breath, For just a little more space, Watching the darkness sparkle the air in front of my face, I begin to remember I wasn't always this way. Not always the causation of furrowed brows, And the subject of back door conversation, They tell me that they worry, And I suppose I would too if I heard the hush that fell in post-devastation. See, one day it left and never truly came back-- And not one song, no sermon, nor academic study ever seemed to summon it again after that. Filling the silence never worked-- Not the dark whispered tones, The empty laughter, The blaring radio every late night drive home, I t
Read more

Scarlet, My Dear, I Don't Give a Damn.

And I grapple with you, monster that burns in me-- You swallow all my thoughts while breathing fire through my hips, and the smoke makes it a challenge to keep my inhale steady, Your rough hands can shut my eyes -- but I suppose fire is better in the dark, so would I really want to see? I am you, and you are me. Abiding in one body, and sharing the same dirty dreams, but damn, if you don't go and make my life harder, you tease. "take me, taste me, unleash me please," she screams. You impatient Jezebel-- with the blood red lips and half-starved kiss, 50 things I hate about you? well, I could make a list. But there's so much power in your touch, too much unbridled power-tripping lust, so I know better than to bite your tongue. I am she and she is I, but when you lift your head, I have learned to stand aside. oh monster, consider it a promise, you will have your time. when, and only when, he is fully mine.
Read more

For Her

This one is for her. This one is for the girl in the spring, staring numbly out the window as the world came back to life, wondering how many left turns it takes to make something right. This one is for every hopeful thought she shot down, and for every conviction that she beat into submission. It's for every blackout curtain she closed, desperate to keep out the light. For the latest of nights, when dawn came too soon, And it felt like bleeding out just to leave her room. She's not the one I'm proud of, she's not the one who made it easy. The long drives, the false hope, the teasing, Pouring lies like fountain soda, Spirit parched for anything of worth. Forgiving of nothing, And deserving no forgiveness, There is no crime if there's no witness.
Read more